Who doesn’t love April fools? Your wife claims she’s leaving you, your boss tells you you’re fired, your teenage daughter says she’s pregnant and the sandwich guy uses real human meat in your lunch. It’s hilarious! But how could it be funnier? What about if the technology companies in your life announced fake products? Genius! It’s also unheard of, other than when it happens literally every year ever. What is pretty novel though is choosing to celebrate April Fools day a whole 24 hours early, as Oppo have chosen to on this, the 31st of March. See, even smartphone companies like to beat the rush.

So what’ve Oppo got up their ha-ha sleeve for us this year? Why, it’s the Naturalmente collection; a series of phone cases which promise to bring some of that nature you’ve heard so much about on the news right onto your phone. So what’ve we got?

First up, there’s the ‘Spring Lawn‘ case, which promises to revolutionise the way people perceive you, stating: “Whether you want to freshen up the morning commute, or make a statement, you’re sure to do both when you’re walking around with a grass phone!”

Next, there’s the the ‘EZ Crawlers‘ case, which straps an ant colony onto the back of your phone and allows you to “experience the excitement and purity of total freedom with the natural world’s greatest worker drones!” The copy goes on to state: “Watch, from the safety of the other side of the glass, as they go about their linear and unending tasks! You only have to pay them once!”, in what might be the best joke a tech company has written since Apple said “This changes everything. Again.”

Finally, there’s the rather limp ‘Crank U Very Much‘ case, which puts a crank handle on the back of your phone for… reasons? Most likely coming from the imagination of the least inspired person in the room, Oppo struggle justify this one, stating: “You can feel like you’re doing anything IE: grinding coffee, opening a submarine door, or even winding up some sort of, thing”.

As no opportunity to plug an actual feature can go amiss, Oppo also use this harmless bit of seasonal humour to remind you of their VOOC tech, which charges their phones to 75% in just half an hour. Which is, of course, no laughing matter. Check out the full website here, but don’t laugh too hard, I’ve heard it extends your life.

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Ten fingers, five senses, one man, loads of Chinese smartphones.

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